ordinary life does not interest me. i seek only the high moments.i am in accord with the surrealists, searching for the marvelous.- anais nin
i want to start a revolution but they dont take me seriously. do i have to be a black man with consecutive platinum albums to be taken seriously?do i have to be in army uniforms with highest ranks on my shoulders and ak47 strapped people over my back. instead, i would not talk about it and be a lonely blogger forever. i wont fight against discrimination or other pity problems. there are people out there doing that with selfish endeavours behind the coats of social benefits. but we are not supposed to see that. we are supposed to be hopeful till the extent they want us to be. they give us compensated freedom and we feel the power. its pity how blind and decepted herds of people we have become. statism has never existed anywhere. its dictatorship in different form that we live in. we were dictated from the time we took birth and still are. fear of society imposed consequences has brought us where we are. but still i feel responsible and guilty for not listening to the voice inside my head. the voices outside, the rules of the world are adamant on making me part of their herd. but there is a voice inside. that is original as well my definition. there are classes that dont interest, community where i dont belong, relation that i dont understand, norms which fail to satisfy my logic, decisions that i dont relate to. and they tell me there is nowhere to escape. but, the voice inside knows the wayout. do i have the guts or the will? can i fight? evenmore am i prepared to disappoint and figuratively die?
but, i want to start a revolution. i dont sleep and i have lost my apetite. i can feel the chains around my head getting tighter with each passing day. its just me on my side against the world. i will retain my original choices and expressions. maybe, i will die. but, before that i will be a revolution
ps:- inspired by the short film “secretprojectrevolution” directed by Madonna and Steven Klein. freedom is personal anarchy to me. i hope you got that.
directed by madonna and steven klein, the fil talks about freedom at personal level. it made me ponder and realise my idea of freedom. watch it. maybe it could help you realise your shackles too…
there are things around,that individuals are always bound to. whether one likes it or not,it is difficult for people to get over it.but the chain always looks better when broken. i broke some chains today. the time for networking socially is over for me. it has been a while since it became mainstream now and eventually everything where the majority gets involved becomes a stupidity. this is a stupid world and social media is its small and very strong representation. i dont exactly look down on people who are still on it, its just i see a larger pursuit in my vision. this year is very crucial to me, to be anywhere close to what i aspire to see myself as. i need to be very focused. there is no scope for any distraction. anyways, i can satisfy my itch to communicate to a larger audience through my blog. for sure, you will be hearing from me very often now.
the only difference between a suicide and a martyrdom really is the amount of press coverage.- chuck palahniuk,survivor
before you come to realise how irrelevant the above quote was in context of the article, let me tell you myself. its there just because i found it good. i am no goth, but whether anyone accepts it or not, suicide is an underground trend with very many people continually in argument within themselves whether to kill oneself or everybody around. i know this because i have been through it but if i had chose one of them it would have been killing everyone around . to inform,my hands dont smell blood(refer macbeth).
i know a guy. lets call him Sick.he is one of my roomate as well. its unsesnsitive but honest that i am real thankful to him as he attempted suicide in the room itself and gave me sommething to ponder over and write about. he has been depressed since long. its not been long since i came out of depression as well. but, i came out of it by myself without a single self abuse. this entitles me to look down upon him as i am a stronger person than he is.and i would do that with full sincearity. there is nothing much interesting about Sick. he is depressive, watches senseless flop movies, can not laugh on oneself and remains inactive and sulky most of the time. in nutshell he is a dick. i have noticed he contradicts his own statements about ideologies and things according to his convenience. anyways there are hardly any people around who take a stand. that doesnt make him any different. and again, he looks for reasons to be sad , at the same time doing nothing to terminate the reason. no wonder, he attempted suicide. maybe his guilt swelled with time. and rightly so. though he blames his lack of potential, the actual reason is dearth of efforts which he overlooks as that would place the blame for his condition on him. he is happy in his staate of denial. according to him he does his work near perfect and the bad results are due to his less mental potentials. sometimes i envy him. i belive i have the highest potential and do minimal efforts. this makes me irritated and compels me to work harder. at least his beliefs give him peace of mind. then the next moment i see him and realize he is one person i would never want to be. i would rather wake up in chaos than sleep in peace.
this Sick is no alien. he is around me, maybe he is around you too or maybe you are Sick. some have him in higher percentage while some in lower. we all want to escape and neglect, sugarcoat our insecurities and weaknesses, disbelief in our potential to escape doing efforts. i dont mean to preach anyone anything. its something i learnt from my friend Sick. he has more facets. This was the first i wanted to talk about . i dont mean to say i am different or typecast the majority. i am just a wanderer, a life enthusiast looking for experiences. i know there are more to come.
its been quite a while since i reported. i have been very busy lately with my exam preparations though its all seeming invain now. anyways, enough bitching about my life. let me move to the topic..
LEARNING TO CODE ONLINE:part 1
i was talking about learning to code online. as mentioned on the Ted blog(which i reblogged), there are numerous options. but how many of the platforms to learn code are actually helpful for a novice who has none or little idea about coding. to keep my post precise(lame execuse;actual reason is lack of time)and as descriptive as i can be i will take one option this time
i thought i will have to describe the difficulties and ways to overcome it while using the chosen app. but this app exceeded all my expectations. the interface is very user friendly and the most important thing is it starts from very basic and keep things very simple for starters like me. for now the app is a winner and i can recommend it to anybody.
iam writing this with 2 days left in my semester exams so there is hardly any time but somehow i have completed the first unit of the wevb development course i.e., HTML BASIC-1. as i go through my learning journey( i.e., mostly off curriculum) i plan to keep this blog updated. for now signing off
I’m interested in anything about revolt, disorder, chaos, especially activity that appears to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom.
– jim morrison
most profound and relatable quote i ever came across. i roll by it. smoke weed,take pills,bunk classes,hit people,argue with teachers. if it seems liberating and satisfying i do it. i do what i feel like and its not my fault that i feel like a maniac more than often.please nobody misunderstand me. i am just looking to be free……