i want to start a revolution but they dont take me seriously. do i have to be a black man with consecutive platinum albums to be taken seriously?do i have to be in army uniforms with highest ranks on my shoulders and ak47 strapped people over my back. instead, i would not talk about it and be a lonely blogger forever. i wont fight against discrimination or other pity problems. there are people out there doing that with selfish endeavours behind the coats of social benefits. but we are not supposed to see that. we are supposed to be hopeful till the extent they want us to be. they give us compensated freedom and we feel the power. its pity how blind and decepted herds of people we have become. statism has never existed anywhere. its dictatorship in different form that we live in. we were dictated from the time we took birth and still are. fear of society imposed consequences has brought us where we are. but still i feel responsible and guilty for not listening to the voice inside my head. the voices outside, the rules of the world are adamant on making me part of their herd. but there is a voice inside. that is original as well my definition. there are classes that dont interest, community where i dont belong, relation that i dont understand, norms which fail to satisfy my logic, decisions that i dont relate to. and they tell me there is nowhere to escape. but, the voice inside knows the wayout. do i have the guts or the will? can i fight? evenmore am i prepared to disappoint and figuratively die?
but, i want to start a revolution. i dont sleep and i have lost my apetite. i can feel the chains around my head getting tighter with each passing day. its just me on my side against the world. i will retain my original choices and expressions. maybe, i will die. but, before that i will be a revolution
ps:- inspired by the short film “secretprojectrevolution” directed by Madonna and Steven Klein. freedom is personal anarchy to me. i hope you got that.
the only difference between a suicide and a martyrdom really is the amount of press coverage.- chuck palahniuk,survivor
before you come to realise how irrelevant the above quote was in context of the article, let me tell you myself. its there just because i found it good. i am no goth, but whether anyone accepts it or not, suicide is an underground trend with very many people continually in argument within themselves whether to kill oneself or everybody around. i know this because i have been through it but if i had chose one of them it would have been killing everyone around . to inform,my hands dont smell blood(refer macbeth).
i know a guy. lets call him Sick.he is one of my roomate as well. its unsesnsitive but honest that i am real thankful to him as he attempted suicide in the room itself and gave me sommething to ponder over and write about. he has been depressed since long. its not been long since i came out of depression as well. but, i came out of it by myself without a single self abuse. this entitles me to look down upon him as i am a stronger person than he is.and i would do that with full sincearity. there is nothing much interesting about Sick. he is depressive, watches senseless flop movies, can not laugh on oneself and remains inactive and sulky most of the time. in nutshell he is a dick. i have noticed he contradicts his own statements about ideologies and things according to his convenience. anyways there are hardly any people around who take a stand. that doesnt make him any different. and again, he looks for reasons to be sad , at the same time doing nothing to terminate the reason. no wonder, he attempted suicide. maybe his guilt swelled with time. and rightly so. though he blames his lack of potential, the actual reason is dearth of efforts which he overlooks as that would place the blame for his condition on him. he is happy in his staate of denial. according to him he does his work near perfect and the bad results are due to his less mental potentials. sometimes i envy him. i belive i have the highest potential and do minimal efforts. this makes me irritated and compels me to work harder. at least his beliefs give him peace of mind. then the next moment i see him and realize he is one person i would never want to be. i would rather wake up in chaos than sleep in peace.
this Sick is no alien. he is around me, maybe he is around you too or maybe you are Sick. some have him in higher percentage while some in lower. we all want to escape and neglect, sugarcoat our insecurities and weaknesses, disbelief in our potential to escape doing efforts. i dont mean to preach anyone anything. its something i learnt from my friend Sick. he has more facets. This was the first i wanted to talk about . i dont mean to say i am different or typecast the majority. i am just a wanderer, a life enthusiast looking for experiences. i know there are more to come.
i thought i would make it a music blog, but everything seems to occupy my mind except music. I am a music enthusiast but somehow my life has come to a point where i am seeing a lot of change taking place in the way people see me. to say the least, i am an engineering student, by default. but my emphasis has always been on being different so its very difficult for me to except that i am doing the same thing, the ninty percent of the youth population is doing. anyways, now that i am here i carry no remorse.
life hasnot been quite a joyride for me and i have had fair share of bumps and fall through the journey. getting up strong requires a lot of determination and strength and i am afraid i have not been the strongest of a man that i can be lately. if i am to describe myself or my mental strength right now i will term me to be emotionally damaged and intense. but if you were someone who knew me, you could never make out about the dark side in me. music has always been there for me since the time i remember. it has always made me feel special, rejuvunated and has given me life lessons that make me a better man. music is more than everything and anything. the rhythm, the beat can do miracles. the fact that music can induce goosebumps, draw a tear, inspire and connect is my favourite parts of being a human being.
i am a man of no limits and boundaries as in my consequent post you will know better, so this blog can come as a surprise for you or it may even appear as a mess. the attempt from my side will be to serve you with nothing but the best because i want you guys to keep returning to this blog. the basic idea is to write about music lets see where time takes this blog.